


Se me escapa la vida imaginando que vuelves

by dollalpaca



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, Angst without a happy ending, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:00:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25992532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dollalpaca/pseuds/dollalpaca
Summary: It was meant to just be a casual thing; they were just friends with benefits and no strings attached. They hung out with the rest of their friendship group with normality, sometimes they went home together and other times they left from the bar with a new stranger.Or, 5 times they were close to confessing their feelings but didn't, and the one time they did.
Relationships: Lemon/Priyanka
Comments: 16
Kudos: 18





	Se me escapa la vida imaginando que vuelves

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this for a tumblr a request, it got out of hand, but i liked the result. so yeah. title comes from the song Rosas by La Oreja de Van Gogh.

1.

Admittedly, Lemon’s best ideas come to her while she’s drunk - Priyanka, however, is the only exception. 

It was meant to just be a casual thing; they were just friends with benefits and no strings attached. They hung out with the rest of their friendship group with normality, sometimes they went home together and other times they left from the bar with a new stranger. 

Everything was good and emotions were under control, until Lemon realized the tug in her heart whenever Priyanka flirted with other girls.

She texted her one day asking if she wanted to hang out once she was done with her lectures, having decided to tell her about her feelings, and that they should stop sleeping around before Lemon is in it too deep - but Priyanka said she had something lined up already and couldn’t cancel. Lemon brushed it off, saying it was okay and wishing her to have fun, thinking she’d have her opportunity soon.

2.

Priyanka drops the bomb that she’s seeing someone while they’re studying with Rita and Starzy. Lemon’s heart stops for a second, paralyzes mid-movement as she searches for Priyanka’s gaze. She doesn’t seem concerned or awkward at all, and it only adds to the feeling of suffocation invading her.

She rambles about how great she is, and how much she likes her even though it’s been just three weeks since they started seeing each other. The monster of jealousy is fighting to take control over Lemon’s senses, to make her spit bitter words like, _“But does she fuck you as good like I did?”_

But she doesn’t. Because she has some dignity left, and their affair was kept from their friends, so it wouldn’t be intelligent to reveal themselves like this.

“Pri,” Lemon calls her once they’re done with their study session, trotting up to meet her. “Can I talk to you for a second?” She tries not to sound too choked up, but it’s easier said than done.

Priyanka stops in her tracks, turning around to see her with a careful look. Lemon has seen that look before, and she hates it. She asks if it has to do with the fact she’s seeing someone, and before Lemon has any chance of replying, she goes on to say that she doesn’t want to make things awkward, and that they can act as if nothing happened if that’s what she wants.

“Woah, I was just going to ask you when are you gonna give me back my yellow dress. I have my brother’s birthday party on Sunday,” she lies with surprising ease, and Priyanka blinks repeatedly, a blush creeping on her cheeks as she tells her she’ll drop the dress by her dorm later today.

3.

Lemon tries to get over Priyanka by downloading Tinder again, but she rarely matches with girls that spark her interest.

Boa’s birthday happens, and they go to a club to celebrate. They get ready in Lemon’s apartment, chaos ensuing as soon as they step foot inside. It’s a welcomed type of chaos, though, one she’s learned to treasure. She gets a call from Priyanka while she’s doing Juice’s make-up, and excuses herself for a moment to lock herself in the bathroom so that she can hear more clearly.

“Pri? Are you coming?” She asks, shutting the door behind her.

“Yeah, I’m on my way. I wanted to ask you if you wouldn’t mind if I crashed your place with Tynomi.”

Lemon blinks repeatedly, her mind jumping to the worst of conclusions. “Tynomi?”

“The girl I’ve been going out with,” she explains, and Lemon’s heart aches when she can clearly hear the smile on her face. “I’ve asked Boa if she doesn’t mind her tagging along, and she said it’s fine, but I forgot to ask if she could come with me to your place.”

The grip on her phone tightens, as she takes a shaky breath and steals a glance of herself in the mirror. She wants to scream, tell Priyanka of her feelings, of how she foolishly let herself fall for her and now it hurts her that she’s moved on and she can’t keep pretending that everything is okay. Because it’s not.

“Yeah, sure,” she says instead, reluctantly. 

4\. 

Lemon stares at the letter, blinking once, twice, until tears are flooding down her cheeks. She breaks down in the middle of the cafeteria, drawing attention her way, but she doesn’t care. She’ll cry if she wants to - she got accepted into a prestigious dance school in New York with a full ride scholarship. Anyone would cry in her place.

“Girl, are you okay? What did that letter say?” Kiara asks, confused, stroking her back in an attempt to soothe her. All Lemon is able to do is give her the letter, gasping for air. Kiara’s eyes grow wide as she reads the first few sentences. “Holy shit,” she muses.

“What happened?” Priyanka asks, approaching their table with a worried expression. Kiara hands her the letter, as Lemon is still struggling to form coherent sentences. “Holy shit indeed,” Priyanka echoes, looking back and forth between Lemon and the letter. “You’re leaving us?” She asks, with a tone Lemon can’t quite put a finger on.

She simply nods, still too choked up to babble for hours about how this has been her dream since she was a child, and she’s not going to pass up such an opportunity. 

Priyanka looks at her with an indecipherable look before saying, “You deserve it, Lem.”

5\. 

The months slip away from Lemon’s fingers, and before she knows it, it’s the night before she leaves for New York. Her parents had been crying all day long in anticipation, repeating over and over again how proud they’re of her. Her friends had treated her to dinner, promising to be there before she boarded the plane.

Priyanka had hugged her tightly when they said goodbye, holding onto her for a second longer than the rest. She took her hands in hers, and Lemon could feel the unsaid words lingering on her lips.

“I’ll miss you,” it was all that she said, letting go of her hands. Part of Lemon wished there would be a heartfelt confession on her side, since she wasn’t dating Tynomi anymore, but it had been foolish of her to think so.

She wants to send Priyanka a text confessing her feelings before she’s in a whole other country for the next three years.

The text is half written on her notes app before she deletes it, turns off her phone and turns around to try to sleep. 

+1.

_It’s you. It’s always been you Lem. I miss you. I’m sorry._

Priyanka’s message is two years late, and Lemon can’t help but to shed a tear before she types out a reply.

_It was you, too. Was. I’m sorry._

She turns off her phone, not waiting for a reply, and goes back to allowing her fast asleep girlfriend to spoon her.

**Author's Note:**

> if i made you cry you owe me a comment 😌


End file.
